When I’m with my mum or girlfriends our conversations most of the times leads to the topic of multiple partners. Its so common these days that we can’t help it but talk about it.

Some say its got to do with ethnicity others say it’s in man’s nature, well the true is that both man and woman are choosing to have affairs out side relationships, especially man. So, are we capable of being with only one person or is monogamist the way forward?

I know this is a very delicate subject to write about, but the reality is we know some people have more than one partner. By this I mean taking another wife or girlfriend or having affairs outside of a marriage or committed relationships. According to African mans having more than one wife or partner can be a status symbol for the men – it shows they are not only desirable but says: ‘Look at me- I can afford to keep two women and double the number of children.’

We know that noone goes onto a relationship expecting to have their significant other find another. Yet time and time again we hear stories of woman and men distraught when they find out that the person they thought they knew has broken that scared vow and been intimate with someone else.

I’ve always had the perception that black men are more likely to cheat than any other race-this is inaccurate and derogatory. But researchest shows that men (and women) of all rocs cheat. From world-famous footballers to politicians, royals and the French, lots of people are at it.

Having multiple partners should also mean having frequent HIV test, sexual health check-ups and always using condoms. However, we know that not all men use condoms with the ‘side chick’ and people don’t always think about their sexual health – let alone the mental harm that having affairs can cause.

As well as the potential health problems of having (condoles) sex with multiple partners, there is the emotional fall-out to consider. Have our perceptions of multiple-partner relationship changed over the years? Is it only men having extra partners or are women doing it too?


But could this be consequence of grew up in homes where the father had girlfriend, perhaps even a second wife? And what leads woman to also cheat?

I ask myself why some people can knowingly date another person’s partner and not have a guilt complex, fear of karma or a basic need to have an exclusive partner? Or does it even need to go that far, morally we know its wrong, right? Some woman say they had no idea their man was already married until they were in love, by which point it was too late to separate themselves emotionally.

Which had me thinking, what makes one person stay and another leave? Is it down to low self-esteem or that there are not enough men to go around? Does it matter to a man in the same way or do men just think of the physical side of things? Equally, is it really a big deal- are we just being the moral police and should everyone do what they please? Would we all cheat if we had the chance?



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